the days of my life-第6部分

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？Or　even　Love’s　sweet　dream；　to　lapse　content：
Duty　and　Faith　are　words　of　solemn　sound；
？And　to　their　echoes　must　thy　soul　be　bent。
Conscience　shall　hallow　all；　grant　noble　aim；
？And　firm　resolve　the　paths　of　vice　to　shun；
And　haply；　in　reward；　Love’s　lambent　flame
？Through　storms　of　life　shall　shine；　like　Earth’s　fair　sun！
But　a　few　days：　and　far　across　the　flood；
？To　stranger　lands　with　strangers　wilt　thou　roam；
Yet　shall　not　absence　loose　the　bonds　of　blood；
？Or　still　the　voices　of　thy　distant　home。
So；　go　thy　way；　my　Child！　I　love　thee　well：
？How　well；　no　heart　but　mother’s　heart　may　know　—
Yet　One　loves　better；　—　more　than　words　can　tell；　—
？Then　trust　Him；　now　and　evermore；　—　and　go！
Ella　Haggard。
July　16；　1875。
I　think　them　beautiful　lines。　Moreover　they　are　typical　of　the　writer。
Duty　and　Faith　are　words　of　solemn　sound；
Well；　duty　and　faith　were　the　stars　by　which　she　guided　her　own　life。
Of　our　voyage　to　Africa　there　is　little　to　be　said　except　that　in　those　days　it　was　long。　On　arriving　at　Cape　Town　we　went　to　Government　House；　where　we　stayed　for　about　a　week　with　Lady　Barkly。
Government　House　is；　or　was；　a　large；　quaint　old　place　—　I　have　not　seen　it　from　that　day　to　this　—　which　had　the　reputation　of　being　haunted　by　a　certain　Grey　Lady　who　had　lived　there　generations　before　in　the　old　Dutch　days。
Since　these　chapters　were　written　some　letters　of　mind　have　been　found　at　Bradenham。　From　one　of　these；　dealing　with　my　arrival　in　South　Africa；　I　e　passages：
Government　House
Cape　Town：　August　18；　1875。
My　dear　Father；　—　You　will　see　from　the　heading　of　my　letter　that　I　have　arrived　all　safe　at　Cape　Town。　We　have　not　made　a　very　quick　passage；　nor　yet　a　very　slow　one。　。　。　。　Among　other　things　we　got　up　a　sort　of　penny　reading　on　board；　for　which　I　wrote　the　Prologue。　I　also　had　a　good　deal　of　work　to　do；　getting　up　all　the　Langalibalele　case　and　extracting　the　pith　from　a　mass　of　blue…books。　It　is　not　easy　to　get　at　the　truth　when　it　is　hedged　round　by　such　a　mass　of　contradictory　evidence。　However　the　whole　affair　is　rather　interesting；　inasmuch　as　it　gives　you　an　idea　of　the　tremendous　state　of　ferment　and　excitement　the　Colony　was　and　still　is　in　。　。　。　。
We　arrived　here　early　yesterday　morning；　expecting　to　find　Sir　Gar　Wolseley　waiting　for　us；　but　he　has　not　yet　returned　from　Natal；　which　is　very　awkward；　as　we　do　not　know　whether　to　wait　for　him　or　to　go　on　and　meet　him　there。　。　。　。
I　am　getting　on　all　right；　though　my　position　is　not　an　easy　one。　I　find　myself　responsible　for　everything；　and　everybody　es　and　bothers　me。　However　it　all　es　in　the　day’s　work。　I　don’t　know　yet　if　I　am　private　secretary；　but　I　suppose　I　am　as　nobody　else　has　appeared。　I　make　a　good　many　blunders；　but　still　I　think　I　get　on　very　well　on　the　whole。　I　expect　I　shall　have　a　tremendous　lot　of　work　at　Natal　as　the　Chief　told　me　that　he　was　going　to　entertain　a　good　deal；　and　all　that　will　fall　on　my　shoulders　in　addition　to　business。　We　are　very　good　friends　and　shall；　I　think；　continue　to　be　so；　as　he　is　not　a　captious　or　changeable　man。　。　。　。　Beaumont；　who　was　secretary　to　Pine　（the　late　Governor　of　Natal）；　puts　me　up　to　a　lot　of　things；　he　is　an　excessively　nice　fellow　and　we　are　great　allies　。　。　。　。
The　merchants　of　Cape　Town　give　a　ball　tomorrow　night　to　which　I　am　invited。　It　will　be　a　good　opportunity　of　studying　the　Cape　Town　aristocracy。　I　have　just　returned　from　calling　on　the　Bishop。　The　Barklys　have　a　first…rate　four…inhand　and　we　went　through　a　beautiful　country；　so　our　drive　was　a　pleasant　one。　I　like　the　Bishop　very　much。　He　is　a　thorough　specimen　of　muscular　Christianity。　。　。　。　This　continual　influx　of　strangers　has　a　very　depressing　effect。　There　is　another　big　dinner　on　to…night；　and　there　won’t　be　a　soul　I　know　among　them　unless　Beaumont　es；　which　I　devoutly　hope　he　will。　All　these　new　faces　that　you　don’t　know　make　you　think　of　the　old　ones　that　you　do　know。　。　。　。　I　hope　that　you　are　quite　well　now；　my　dear　Father；　and　that　you　do　not　miss　me　as　much　as　I　do　you。
I　remain；　with　best　love　to　all；
Ever　your　most　affectionate　and　dutiful　son；
H。　Rider　Haggard　（or　“Waggart”　as　they　put　my　name
in　the　paper）。
My　mother　will　pity　me　when　I　tell　her　that　I’ve　got　to　get　servants。　Where　on　earth　am　I　to　find　servants；　and　who　am　I　to　ask　about　them？
Now　before　we　go　on　to　Natal　where　the　real　business　of　my　life　began；　I　will　stop　for　a　moment　to　take　stock　of　myself　as　I　was　in　those　days　at　the　age　of　nieen。
I　was　a　tall　young　fellow；　quite　six　feet；　and　slight；　blue…eyed；　brown…haired；　fresh…plexioned；　and　not　at　all　bad…looking。　The　Zulus　gave　me　the　name　of　“Indanda；”　which　meant；　I　believe；　one　who　is　tall　and　pleasant…natured。　Mentally　I　was　impressionable；　quick　to　observe　and　learn　whatever　interested　me；　and　could　already　hold　my　own　in　conversation。　Also；　if　necessary；　I　could　make　a　public　speech。　I　was；　however；　subject　to　fits　of　depression　and　liable　to　take　views　of　things　too　serious　and　gloomy　for　my　age　—　failings；　I　may　add；　that　I　have　never　been　able　to　shake　off。　Even　then　I　had　the　habit　of　looking　beneath　the　surface　of　characters　and　events；　and　of　trying　to　get　at　their　springs　and　causes。　I　liked　to　understand　any　country　or　society　in　which　I　found　myself。　I　despised　those　who　merely　floated　on　the　stream　of　life　and　never　tried　to　dive　into　its　depths。　Yet　in　some　ways　I　think　I　was　rather　indolent；　that　is　if　the　task　in　hand　bored　me。　I　was　ambitious　and　conscious　of　certain　powers；　but　wanted　to　climb　the　tree　of　success　too　quickly　—　a　proceeding　that　generally　results　in　slips。
Further；　my　eldest　sister；　Ella　（Mrs。　Maddison　Green）；　informed　me　only　a　month　or　two　ago　that　at　this　period　I　was　conceited。　Possibly　I　may　have　been；　for　I　had　been　living　in　a　very　forcing　atmosphere　where　I　was　made　too　much　of　by　some　of　my　elders。
Four　or　five　days’　steaming　along　the　green　and　beautiful　coasts　of　south…eastern　Africa；　on　which　the　great　rollers　break　continually；　brought　us　to　Port　Natal。　At　that　time　the　Durban　harbour　was　not　sufficiently　dredged　to　admit　sea…going　vessels；　and　I　think　we　had　some　difficulty　in　landing。　There　was　a　reception　mittee　which　presented　an　address　of　wele　to　the　Lieutenant…Governor；　and　I　remember　hurriedly　copying　his　answer　as　the　ship　rolled　off　the　Point。
Sir　Gar　Wolseley　had　been　sent　to　Natal　as　temporary　Governor　to　settle　certain　matters　connected　with　its　constitution。　I　think　that　at　that　time　he　had　left　the　Colony　himself；　though　of　this　I　am　not　quite　sure；　as　I　am　unable　to　remember　when　I　first　spoke　to　him。　In　after　life　I　met　him　on　several　occasions。　Especially　do　I　remember　a　long　talk　with　him　at　a　dinner…party　at　the　house　of　the　Bischoffheims　in　London　some　time　in　the　eighties。　He　was　a　small；　bright…eyed；　quick…brained　man　who　expressed　his　views　upon　the　public　matters　of　the　day　with　a　fierceness　and　a　vigour　that　were　quite　astonishing。　We　sat　together　at　the　table　after　all　the　other　guests　had　left　to　join　the　ladies；　and　I　reflected　that　he　must　have　had　singular　confidence　in　my　character　to　say　the　things　he　did　to　me。　However；　it　was　justified；　for　of　course　I　never　repeated　a　word。
Those　of　the　Staff　whom　I　recollect　are；　or　were　—　for　I　think　they　are　now　all　dead　—　Lord　Gifford；　Colonel　（afterwards　Sir　Henry）　Brackenbury；　and　Major　（afterwards　Sir　William）　Butler。　Of　these　the　one　who　impressed　himself　most　deeply　upon　my　mind　was　Butler。　He　was　a　most　agreeable　and　sympathetic　man；　who　took　the　trouble　to　talk　a　good　deal　to　me；　although　I　was　but　a　lad。　I　recall　that　with　much　graphic　detail　he　told　me　the　story　of　how；　when　he　was　suffering　from　fever；　he　was　nearly　thrown　overboard　as　a　dead　man　off　the　West　Coast　of　Africa；　where　he　had　been　serving　in　the　Ashanti　Expedition。　Recently　I　have　been　reading　his　very　interesting　and　remarkable　autobiography；　in　which　I　see　he　describes　this　incident。
Subsequently　—　but　I　think　this　was　at　Pietermaritzburg　—　I　became　well　acquainted　with　Colonel　（afterwards　Sir　George）　Colley。　He　stayed　with　us　at　Government　House　and　I　remember　a　curious　little　incident　concerning　him。
He　was　leaving　Natal　and　wished　to　sell　a　shot…gun　which　I　wished　to　purchase；　though　I　am　not　sure　whether　this　was　on　my　account　or　on　that　of　Sir　Henry　Bulwer。　We　had　a　difference　of　opinion　as　to　the　price　of　the　article。　Finally　I　interviewed　him　one　morning　when　he　was　taking　his　bath；　and　he　suggested　that　we　should　settle　the　matter　by　tossing。　This　I　did　with　a　half…sovereign；　he　giving　the　call；　but　who　won　I　forget。
Of　my　last　tragic　meeting　with　poor　Colley　at　the　time　of　the　first　Boer　War　I　may　speak　later　in　this　book。
After　a　short　stay　at　Durban　we　proceeded　to　Maritzburg；　the　seat　of　government；　in　some　kind　of　a　horse　conveyance；　as；　except　for　a　short　time　on　the　coast；　there　was　then　no　railway　in　Natal。　In　those　days　it　was　a　charming　town　of　the　ordinary　Dutch　character；　with　wide　streets　bordered　by　sluits　of　running　water　and　planted　with　gum　trees。
Of　the　year　or　so　that　I　spent　in　Natal　I　have　not　much　to　say　that　is　worthy　of　record。　The　country　impressed　me　enormously。　Indeed；　on　the　whole　I　think　it　the　most　beautiful　of　any　that　I　have　seen　in　the　world；　parts　of　Mexico　alone　excepted。　The　great　plains　rising　by　steps　to　the　Quathlamba　or　Drakensberg　Mountains；　the　sparkling　torrential　rivers；　the　sweeping　thunderstorms；　the　grass…fires　creeping　over　the　veld　at　night　like　snakes　of　living　flame；　the　glorious　aspect　of　the　heavens；　now　of　a　spotless　blue；　now　charged　with　the　splendid　and　many…coloured　lights　of　sunset；　and　now　sparkling　with　a　myriad　stars；　the　wine…like　taste　of　the　air　upon　the　plains；　the　beautiful　flowers　in　the　bush…clad　kloofs　or　on　the　black　veld　in　spring　—　all　these　things　impressed　me；　so　much　that　were　I　to　live　a　thousand　years　I　never　should　forget　them。
Then　there　were　the　Zulu　Kaffirs　living　in　their　kraals　filled　with　round　beehive…like　huts；　bronze…coloured；　noble…looking　men　and　women　clad　only　in　their　moochas；　whose　herds　of　cattle　wandered　hither　and　thither　in　charge　of　a　little　lad。　From　the　beginning　I　was　attracted　to　these　Zulus；　and　soon　began　to　study　their　character　and　their　history。
I　　a　letter　to　my　mother　dated　Government　House；　Natal；　September　15；　1875。
My　dearest　Mother；　—　。　。　。　You　will　by　this　time　have　got　my　letters　from　Durban　and　the　Cape。　We　left　Durban　at　10　A。M。　on　the　morning　of　the　1st　September　and　came　up　the　fifty…four　miles　over　most　tremendous　hills　in　five　and　a　half　hours；　going　at　full　gallop　all　the　way；　in　a　four…horse　wagote。　There　were　five　of　us；　the　Chief；　Mr。　Shepstone　（Secretary　for　Native　Affairs）；　Napier　Broome　（Colonial　Secretary）；　Beaumont　and　myself。　Some　of　the　scenery　was　very　fine；　but　we　were　so　choked　by　the　dust；　which　was　so　thick　that　you　could　not　see　the　road　beneath　you；　that　we　did　not　much　enjoy　it。　Our　guard　of　honour　did　not　improve　matters。
When　we　got　near　Maritzburg　crowds　of　people　rode　out　to　meet　us；　and　we　entered　in　grand　style　amidst　loud　hurrahs。　We　galloped　up　to　Government　House；　where　the　regiment　was　drawn　up　on　the　lawn；　and　as　soon　as　the　carriage　stopped　the　band　struck　up　“God　save　the　Queen”　and　salutes　were　fired　from　the　fort。　Then　all　the　grandees　of　Maritzburg　came　forward　and　paid　their　respects　to　the　Governor；　and　at　last　we　were　left　alone　to　clean　ourselves　as　best　we　could。
The　Government　House　is　a　very　pretty　building；　not　nearly　so　large　as　the　Cape　Government　House；　but　far　from　small。　I；　who　have　to　look　after　it；　find　it　too　large。　I　have　a　large　bedroom　upstairs　and　my　office　in　the　Executive　Council　chamber。　The　day　after　we　arrived　the　swearing…in　ceremony　was　held；　in　a　room　where　the　Legislative　Council　sit　in　the　Public　Offices　building。　It　was　a　very　swell　ceremony　indeed；　and　I　had　to　go　through　an　extraordinary　amount　of　scraping　and　bowing；　presenting　and　pocketing；　or　trying　to　pocket；　enormous　addresses；　missions；　etc。；　etc。　After　it　followed　a　levee；　which　tried　my　patience　considerably；　for　these　people　came　so　thick　and　fast　that　I　had　no　time　to　decipher　their；　for　the　most　part；　infamously　written　cards；　so　I　had　to　shout　out　their　names　at　haphazard。　However；　that　came　to　an　end　too　at　last；　and　we　drove　off　amidst　loud　hurrahs。
I　am　at　last　clear　on　one　point：　I　am　not　private　secretary。　The　Chief　was　talking　the　other　night　to　Beaumont　about　me　and　told　him　he　had　a　very　good　opinion　of　me　and　thought　I　should　do　very　well；　but　that　he　had　always　intended　to　have　an　older　man　to　help　him　at　first；　though　who　it　is　going　to　be　does　not　seem　clear。　He　wants　somebody　who　can　go　and　talk　to　all　these　people　as　a　man　of　their　own　standing；　which　I　cannot　do。　He　also　wants　someone　who　has　some　experience　of　this　sort　of　work。　I　am　not　in　the　least　disappointed；　indeed　now　that　I　see　something　of　the　place；　and　of　the　turbulent　character　of　its　inhabitants；　I　should　have　much　wondered　if　he　had　made　a　fellow　young　as　I　am　private　secretary。　Putting　the　money　out　of　the　question　I　would　infinitely　rather　be　rid　of　the　responsibility；　at　any　rate　at　present。　I　am　sorry；　very　sorry；　still　to　be　dependent　on　my　father；　but　you　may　be　sure；　my　dear　Mother；　that　I　will　be　as　moderate　as　I　can。　At　any　rate　I　shall　cost　less　than　if　I　had　been　at　home。　I　have　now　learnt　Sir　Henry’s　character　pretty　well。　I　know　him　to　be　a　man　of　his　word；　therefore　I　am　pretty　well　convinced　that　I　shall　be　his　private　secretary　sooner　or　later。　。　。　。　I　continue　to　get　on　very　well　with　him；　indeed　we　are　the　best　of　friends；　and　I　have　many　friendly　jaws　with　him。　I　should　rather　like　to　know　who　No。　1　is　going　to　be；　but　I　don’t　think　he　knows　himself；　he　is　very　reserved　on　these　matters　。　。　。　。
Of　work　I　have　plenty　here；　but　my　chief　trouble　is　my　housekeeping。　I　have　all　this　large　house　entirely　under　me；　and　being　new　to　it　find　it　difficult　work。　I　have　often　seen　with　amusement　the　look　of　anxiety　on　a　hostess’　face　at　a　dinner…party；　but；　by　Jove；　I　find　it　far　from　amusing　now。　Dinner　days　are　black　Mondays　to　me。　Imagine　my　dismay　the　other　day　when　the　fish　did　not　appear　and　when；　on　whispering　a　furious　inquiry；　I　was　told　the　cook　had　forgotten　it！　Servants　are　very　difficult　to　get　here；　and　one　has　to　pay　5　pounds　a　month　at　the　lowest。
The　next　surviving　letter　is　dated　February　14；　1876。　It　gives　an　account　of　a　buck　hunt　which　is　perhaps　worth　transcribing。
To　begin　with；　I　am　getting　on　all　right　and　have　quite　got　over　all　signs　of　liver　since　I　got　a　horse。　This　place；　if　only　you　take　exercise；　is　as　healthy　as　England；　but　exercise　is　a　sina　qua　non。　I　got　out　for　a　day’s　buck…hunting　the　other　day　to　a　place　about　twelve　miles　off；　a　farm　of　fertile　plain　（about　12；000　acres）。　The　owner　of　it；　a　very　good　fellow；　is　one　of　the　few　people　who　preserve　their　buck。
The　way　you　shoot　is　this：　three　or　four　guns　on　good　horses　ride　over　the　plain　about　fifty　yards　apart。　If　an　oribe　gets　up；　you　have　to　pull　up　and　shoot　off　your　horse’s　back；　which　is　not　very　easy　till　you　get　used　to　it。　Sometimes　you　run　them　as　I　did；　but　it　wants　a　very　swift　horse。　I　had　dropped　a　little　behind　the　others；　when　in　galloping　up　to　join　them　my　horse　put　its　foot　into　a　hole　and　came　to　the　ground；　sending　me　and　my　loaded　gun　on　to　my　head　some　five　or　six　yards　further　on。　I　had　hardly　e　to　my　senses　and　caught　my　horse　when　I　saw　an　oribe　pass　like　a　flash　of　light；　taking　great　bounds。　I　turned　and　went　away　after　him；　and　I　must　say　I　never　had　a　more　exciting　ride　in　my　life。　Away　we　went　like　the　wind；　over　hill　and　down　dale；　and　very　dangerous　work　it　was；　for　being　all　through　long　grass　the　holes　were　hidden。　Every　now　and　then　I　felt　my　horse　give　a　violent　shy　or　a　bound；　and　then　I　knew　we　had　nearly　got　into　some　bottomless　pit；　if　we　had；　going　at　that　rate　the　horse　would　most　likely　have　broken　his　legs　or　I　my　neck。　And　so　on　for　about　two　miles；　I　gaining　very　slowly；　but　still　gaining　on　the　buck；　when　suddenly　down　he　popped　into　a　bush。　It　is　curious　how　rarely　one　does　the　right　thing　at　the　right　time。　If　I　had　done　the　right　thing　I　should　have　got　my　buck　—　but　I　didn’t。　Instead　of　getting　off　and　walking　him　up；　I　sent　one　barrel　into　the　bush　after　him　and　gave　him　the　other　as　he　rose。　By　this　means　I　hit　him　very　hard　but　did　not　kill　him。　However；　I　made　sure　of　him　and　struck　the　spurs　into　my　horse　to　catch　him。　To　my　surprise　he　only　gave　a　jump；　and　I　found　myself　embedded　in　a　bog　whilst　my　wounded　buck　slowly　vanished　over　a　rise。　I　went　back　in　a　sweet　temper；　as　you　may　imagine。
We　also　hunt　with　hounds；　and　get　very　good　runs　sometimes。　I　very　nearly　lost　my　watch　and　chain　in　one　the　other　day。　I　was　tearing　along　at　full　gallop　through　the　long　grass　when　I　thought　I　felt　an　extra　weight　at　the　end　of　my　whip　which　was　resting　on　the　pommel　of　my　saddle。　I　looked　down　and　saw　my　watch　and　chain　hanging　to　it。　It　was　what　one　may　call　a　lucky　escape。　。　。　。　There　is　little　news　here　of　any　sort。　It　is　evidently　thought　in　England　that　Froude　made　a　fiasco　of　his　mission；　but　I　believe　it　was　more　the　fault　of　the　Home　Government　than　his　own。　The　only　other　thing　is　that　some　people　fear　resistance　on　the　part　of　the　Kaffirs　when　the　time　es　for　the　collection　of　the　new　hut　tax；　but　I　don’t　believe　in　it　。　。　。　。
In　a　letter　dated　Easter　Sunday；　1876；　there　are　some　allusions　to　Bishop　Colenso　and　to　the　Zulu　customs　of　the　day　which　may　be　of　interest。
There　is　but　little　news　to　tell；　none　indeed　with　the　exception　of　the　tragedy　I　mentioned　in　my　letter　to　my　father。　Colenso　preached　a　funeral　sermon　on　him　this　morning；　by　far　the　finest　I　ever　heard　him　preach。　He　was　one　of　the　Bishop’s　best　friends；　one　who　had　stood　by　him　when　all　deserted　him。　The　Bishop　quite　broke　down。　I　was　sitting　under　him；　all　the　last　part　of　the　sermon　he　was　literally　sobbing。　It　was　touching　to　see　stern…faced　Colenso；　whom　nothing　can　move；　so　broken。　He　is　a　very　strange　man；　but　one　you　cannot　but　admire；　with　his　intellect　written　on　his　face。　I　dare　say　that　my　father　has　met　him　in　Norfolk；　where　he　was　a　rector；　he　recognized　my　name　the　first　time　I　saw　him。
We　start　for　a　trip　up…country　in　three　days’　time；　we　shall　be　away　until　about　the　22nd。　We　are　going　to　explore　Weenen　or　the　Land　of　Weeping；　so…called　from　the　weeping　of　the　women　and　children　left　alive　after　the　great　massacre　of　the　Dutch。
I　saw　a　curious　sight　the　other　day；　a　witch　dance。　I　cannot　attempt　to　describe　it；　it　is　a　weird　sort　of　thing。
The　Chief　Interpreter　of　the　Colony　told　me　that　he　was　in　Zululand　some　years　ago　and　saw　one　of　these　witch…findings。　“There；”　he　said；　“were　collected　some　five　thousand　armed　warriors　in　a　circle；　in　the　midst　of　which　the　witches　＇I　should　have　said　the　witch…doctors＇　danced。　Everyone　was　livid　with　fear；　and　with　reason；　for　now　and　again　one　of　these　creatures　would　e　crooning　up　to　one　of　them　and　touch　him；　whereupon　he　was　promptly　put　out　of　the　world　by　a　regiment　of　the　king’s　guard。”　My　friend　interfered　and　nearly　had　his　own　neck　broken　for　his　trouble。
The　Chief　Interpreter　alluded　to　must　have　been　my　friend　Fynney；　now　long　dead；　who　was　afterwards　my　colleague　on　the　staff　of　Sir　Theophilus　Shepstone。　From　him　I　gathered　much　infor