少年维特的烦恼-第5部分

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these　parisons。

　　Enough！　There　are　moments，　Wilhelm，　when　I　could　rise　up　and　shake
it　all　off，　and　when　，　if　I　only　knew　where　to　go　，　I　could　fly　from
this　place。

　　THE　SAME　EVENING。

　　My　diary，　which　I　have　for　some　time　neglected　，　came　before　me
today　；　and　I　am　amazed　to　see　how　deliberately　I　have　entangled　myself
step　by　step。　To　have　seen　my　position　so　clearly　，　and　yet　to　have　acted
so　like　a　child　！　Even　still　I　behold　the　result　plainly　，　and　yet　have
no　thought　of　acting　with　greater　prudence。

　　AUGUST　lO。　If　I　were　not　a　fool　，　I　could　spend　the　happiest　and
most　delightful　life　here。　So　many　agreeable　circumstances，　and　of　a
kind　to　ensure　a　worthy　man's　happiness　，　are　seldom　united。　Alas！　I
feel　it　too　sensibly，——　the　heart　alone　makes　our　happiness！　To　be
admitted　into　this　most　charming　family　，　to　be　loved　by　the　father　as
a　son　，　by　the　children　as　a　father，　and　by　Charlotte　！　then　the　noble
Albert，　who　never　disturbs　my　happiness　by　any　appearance　of　ill…humour，
receiving　me　with　the　heartiest　affection　，　and　loving　me，　next　to　Charlotte，
better　than　all　the　world　！　Wilhelm，　you　would　be　delighted　to　hear
us　in　our　rambles　，　and　conversations　about　Charlotte。　Nothing　in　the
world　can　be　more　absurd　than　our　connection，　and　yet　the　thought　of
it　often　moves　me　to　tears。

　　He　tells　me　sometimes　of　her　excellent　mother　；　how，　upon　her　death…bed，
she　had　mitted　her　house　and　children　to　Charlotte　，　and　had　given
Charlotte　herself　in　charge　to　him；　how，　since　that　time，　a　new　spirit
had　taken　possession　of　her　；　how，　in　care　and　anxiety　for　their　welfare，
she　became　a　real　mother　to　them；　how　every　moment　of　her　time　was　devoted
to　some　labour　of　love　in　their　behalf，——　and　yet　her　mirth　and　cheerfulness
had　never　forsaken　her。　I　walk　by　his　side，　pluck　flowers　by　the　way　，
arrange　them　carefully　into　a　nosegay　，　then　fling　them　into　the　first
stream　I　pass　，　and　watch　them　as　they　float　gently　away。　I　forget　whether
I　told　you　that　Albert　is　to　remain　here。　He　has　received　a　government
appointment　，　with　a　very　good　salary；　and　I　understand　he　is　in　high
favour　at　court。　I　have　met　few　persons　so　punctual　and　methodical　in
business。

　　AUGUST　12。　Certainly　Albert　is　the　best　fellow　in　the　world。　I　had
a　strange　scene　with　him　yesterday。　I　went　to　take　leave　of　him　；　for
I　took　it　into　my　head　to　spend　a　few　days　in　these　mountains　，　from
where　I　now　write　to　you。　As　I　was　walking　up　and　down　his　room　，　my
eye　fell　upon　his　pistols。　〃Lend　me　those　pistols　，〃　said　I，　〃for　my
journey。〃　〃By　all　means　，〃　he　replied，　〃if　you　will　take　the　trouble
to　load　them；　for　they　only　hang　there　for　form。〃　I　took　down　one　of
them；　and　he　continued　，　〃Ever　since　I　was　near　suffering　for　my　extreme
caution　，　I　will　have　nothing　to　do　with　such　things。〃　I　was　curious
to　hear　the　story。　〃I　was　staying　，〃　said　he　，　〃some　three　months　ago，
at　a　friend's　house　in　the　country。　I　had　a　brace　of　pistols　with　me，
unloaded；　and　I　slept　without　any　anxiety。　One　rainy　afternoon　I　was
sitting　by　myself　，　doing　nothing，　when　it　occurred　to　me　I　do　not　know
how　that　the　house　might　be　attacked，　that　we　might　require　the　pistols，
that　we　might　in　short，　you　know　how　we　go　on　fancying　，　when　we　have
nothing　better　to　do。　I　gave　the　pistols　to　the　servant　，　to　clean　and
load。　He　was　playing　with　the　maid，　and　trying　to　frighten　her　，　when
the　pistol　went　off　——　God　knows　how！——　the　ramrod　was　in　the　barrel
；　and　it　went　straight　through　her　right　hand，　and　shattered　the　thumb。
I　had　to　endure　all　the　lamentation　，　and　to　pay　the　surgeon's　bill；
so，　since　that　time，　I　have　kept　all　my　weapons　unloaded。　But　，　my
dear　friend　，　what　is　the　use　of　prudence？　We　can　never　be　on　our　guard
against　all　possible　dangers。　However　，〃　——　now，　you　must　know　I　can
tolerate　all　men　till　they　e　to　〃however　；〃　——　for　it　is　self…evident
that　every　universal　rule　must　have　its　exceptions。　But　he　is　so　exceedingly
accurate，　that　，　if　he　only　fancies　he　has　said　a　word　too　precipitate，
or　too　general，　or　only　half　true，　he　never　ceases　to　qualify　，　to
modify，　and　extenuate，　till　at　last　he　appears　to　have　said　nothing
at　all。　Upon　this　occasion，　Albert　was　deeply　immersed　in　his　subject
：　I　ceased　to　listen　to　him，　and　became　lost　in　reverie。　With　a　sudden
motion，　I　pointed　the　mouth　of　the　pistol　to　my　forehead　，　over　the
right　eye。　〃What　do　vou　mean？〃　cried　Albert，　turning　back　the　pistol。
〃It　is　not　loaded　，〃　said　I。　〃And　even　if　not，〃　he　answered　with　impatience，
〃what　can　you　mean？　I　cannot　cornprehend　how　a　man　can　be　so　mad　as　to
shoot　himself　，　and　the　bare　idea　of　it　shocks　me。〃

　　〃But　why　should　any　one　，〃　said　I，　〃in　speaking　of　an　action，　venture
to　pronounce　it　mad　or　wise　，　or　good　or　bad　？　What　is　the　meaning　of
all　this？　Have　you　carefully　studied　the　secret　motives　of　our　actions？
Do　you　understand　——　can　you　explain　the　causes　which　occasion　them　，
and　make　them　inevitable？　If　you　can　，　you　will　be　less　hasty　with　your
decision。〃

　　〃But　you　will　allow　，〃　said　Albert　；　〃that　some　actions　are　criminal，
let　them　spring　from　whatever　motives　they　may。〃　I　granted　it　，　and　shrugged
my　shoulders。

　　〃But　still，　my　good　friend　，〃　I　continued　，　〃there　are　some　exceptions
here　too。　Theft　is　a　crime；　but　the　man　who　mits　it　from　extreme　poverty，
with　no　design　but　to　save　his　family　from　perishing，　is　he　an　object
of　pity　，　or　of　punishment　？　Who　shall　throw　the　first　stone　at　a　husband，
who　，　in　the　heat　of　just　resentment　，　sacrifices　his　faithless　wife
and　her　perfidious　seducer？　or　at　the　young　maiden　，　who，　in　her　weak
hour　of　rapture　，　forgets　herself　in　the　impetuous　joys　of　love？　Even
our　laws，　cold　and　cruel　as　they　are　，　relent　in　such　cases　，　and　withhold
their　punishment。〃

　　〃That　is　quite　another　thing，〃　said　Albert　；　〃because　a　man　under
the　influence　of　violent　passion　loses　alI　power　of　reflection，　and　is
regarded　as　intoxicated　or　insane。〃

　　〃Oh　！　you　people　of　sound　understandings　，〃　I　replied　，　smiling，
〃are　ever　ready　to　exclaim　'Extravagance，　and　madness，　and　intoxication！
'　You　moral　men　are　so　calm　and　so　subdued！　You　abhor　the　drunken　man，
and　detest　the　extravagant；　you　pass　by，　like　the　Levite，　and　thank
God　，　like　the　Pharisee，　that　you　are　not　like　one　of　them。　I　have　been
more　than　once　intoxicated，　my　passions　have　always　bordered　on　extravagance
：　I　am　not　ashamed　to　confess　it　；　for　I　have　learned　，　by　my　own　experience，
that　all　extraordinary　men，　who　have　acplished　great　and　astonishing
actions　，　have　ever　been　decried　by　the　world　as　drunken　or　insane。　And
in　private　life　，　too，　is　it　not　intolerable　that　no　one　can　undertake
the　execution　of　a　noble　or　generous　deed　，　without　giving　rise　to　the
exclamation　that　the　doer　is　intoxicated　or　mad　？　Shame　upon　you　，　ye
sages　！〃

　　〃This　is　another　of　your　extravagant　humours，〃　said　Albert　：　〃you
always　exaggerate　a　case，　and　in　this　matter　you　are　undoubtedly　wrong
；　for　we　were　speaking　of　suicide，　which　you　pare　with　great　actions，
when　it　is　impossible　to　regard　it　as　anything　but　a　weakness。　It　is　much
easier　to　die　than　to　bear　a　life　of　misery　with　fortitude。〃

　　I　was　on　the　point　of　breaking　off　the　conversation　，　for　nothing
puts　me　so　pletely　out　of　patience　as　the　utterance　of　a　wretched　monplace
when　I　am　talking　from　my　inmost　heart。　However　，　I　posed　myself，
for　I　had　often　heard　the　same　observation　with　sufficient　vexation　；
and　I　answered　him，　therefore，　with　a　little　warmth　，　〃You　call　this
a　weakness——　beware　of　being　led　astray　by　appearances。　When　a　nation，
which　has　long　groaned　under　the　intolerable　yoke　of　a　tyrant　，　rises
at　last　and　throws　off　its　chains　，　do　you　call　that　weakness？　The　man
who　，　to　rescue　his　house　from　the　flames，　finds　his　physical　strength
redoubled　，　so　that　he　lifts　burdens　with　ease　，　which，　in　the　absence
of　excitement　，　he　could　scarcely　move　；　he　who　，　under　the　rage　of
an　insult　，　attacks　and　puts　to　flight　half　a　score　of　his　enemies　，
are　such　persons　to　be　called　weak？　My　good　friend　，　if　resistance　be
strength，　how　can　the　highest　degree　of　resistance　be　a　weakness　？〃

　　Albert　looked　steadfastly　at　me　，　and　said　，　〃Pray　forgive　me　，
but　I　do　not　see　that　the　examples　you　have　adduced　bear　any　relation
to　the　question。〃　〃Very　likely，〃　I　answered；　〃for　I　have　often　been
told　that　my　style　of　illustration　borders　a　little　on　the　absurd。　But
let　us　see　if　we　cannot　place　the　matter　in　another　point　of　view　，　by
inquiring　what　can　be　a　man's　state　of　mind　who　resolves　to　free　himself
from　the　burden　of　life　，——　a　burden　often　so　pleasant　to　bear　，—
—　for　we　cannot　otherwise　reason　fairly　upon　the　subject。

　　〃Human　nature　，〃　I　continued　，　〃has　its　limits。　It　is　able　to　endure
a　certain　degree　of　joy　，　sorrow　，　and　pain　，　but　bees　annihilated
as　soon　as　this　measure　is　exceeded。　The　question　，　therefore，　is　，
not　whether　a　man　is　strong　or　weak　，　but　whether　he　is　able　to　endure
the　measure　of　his　sufferings。　The　suffering　may　be　moral　or　physical
；　and　in　my　opinion　it　is　just　as　absurd　to　call　a　man　a　coward　who　destroys
himself　，　as　to　call　a　man　a　coward　who　dies　of　a　malignant　fever。〃

　　〃Paradox，　all　paradox！〃　exclaimed　Albert。　〃Not　so　paradoxical　as
you　imagine　，〃　I　replied。　〃You　allow　that　we　designate　a　disease　as　mortal
when　nature　is　so　severely　attacked　，　and　her　strength　so　far　exhausted，
that　she　cannot　possibly　recover　her　former　condition　under　any　change
that　may　take　place。

　　〃Now，　my　good　friend　，　apply　this　to　the　mind　；　observe　a　man　in
his　natural　，　isolated　condition　；　consider　how　ideas　work，　and　how
impressions　fasten　on　him　，　till　at　length　a　violent　passion　seizes　him，
destroying　all　his　powers　of　calm　reflection，　and　utterly　ruining　him。

　　〃It　is　in　vain　that　a　man　of　sound　mind　and　cool　temper　understands
the　condition　of　such　a　wretched　being，　in　vain　he　counsels　him。　He　can
no　more　municate　his　own　wisdom　to　him　than　a　healthy　man　can　instil
his　strength　into　the　invalid　，　by　whose　bedside　he　is　seated。〃

　　Albert　thought　this　too　general。　I　reminded　him　of　a　girl　who　had
drowned　herself　a　short　time　previously　，　and　I　related　her　history。

　　She　was　a　good　creature　，　who　had　grown　up　in　the　narrow　sphere　of
household　industry　and　weekly　appointed　labour；　one　who　knew　no　pleasure
beyond　indulging　in　a　walk　on　Sundays　，　arrayed　in　her　best　attire　，
acpanied　by　her　friends，　or　perhaps　joining　in　the　dance　now　and　then
at　some　festival，　and　chatting　away　her　spare　hours　with　a　neighbour　，
discussing　the　scandal　or　the　quarrels　of　the　village　，　trifles　sufficient
to　occupy　her　heart。　At　length　the　warmth　of　her　nature　is　influenced
by　certain　new　and　unknown　wishes。　Inflamed　by　the　flatteries　of　men，
her　former　pleasures　bee　by　degrees　insipid，　till　at　length　she　meets
with　a　youth　to　whom　she　is　attracted　by　an　indescribable　feeling　；　upon
him　she　now　rests　all　her　hopes　；　she　forgets　the　world　around　her　；
she　sees，　hears，　desires　nothing　but　him，　and　him　only。　He　alone　occupies
all　her　thoughts。　Uncorrupted　by　the　idle　indulgence　of　an　enervating
vanity，　her　affection　moving　steadily　toward　its　object，　she　hopes　to
bee　his，　and　to　realise　，　in　an　everlasting　union　with　him　，　all
that　happiness　which　she　sought　，　all　that　bliss　for　which　she　longed。
His　repeated　promises　confirm　her　hopes　：　embraces　and　endearments　，
which　increase　the　ardour　of　her　desires，　overmaster　her　soul。　She　floats
in　a　dim，　delusive　anticipation　of　her　happiness　；　and　her　feelings
bee　excited　to　their　utmost　tension。　She　stretches　out　her　arms　finally
to　embrace　the　object　of　all　her　wishes　and　her　lover　forsakes　her。　Stunned
and　bewildered，　she　stands　upon　a　precipice。　All　is　darkness　around　her。
No　prospect　，　no　hope，　no　consolation　——　forsaken　by　him　in　whom　her
existence　was　centred　！　She　sees　nothing　of　the　wide　world　before　her，
thinks　nothing　of　the　many　individuals　who　might　supply　the　void　in　her
heart　；　she　feels　herself　deserted　，　forsaken　by　the　world；　and，　blinded
and　impelled　by　the　agony　which　wrings　her　soul　，　she　plunges　into　the
deep，　to　end　her　sufferings　in　the　broad　embrace　of　death。　See　here，
Albert，　the　history　of　thousands　；　and　tell　me，　is　not　this　a　case
of　physical　infirmity　？　Nature　has　no　way　to　escape　from　the　labyrinth
：　her　powers　are　exhausted　：　she　can　contend　no　longer，　and　the　poor
soul　must　die。

　　〃Shame　upon　him　who　can　look　on　calmly，　and　exclaim，　'The　foolish
girl！　she　should　have　waited　；　she　should　have　allowed　time　to　wear
off　the　impression；　her　despair　would　have　been　softened　，　and　she　would
have　found　another　lover　to　fort　her。'　One　might　as　well　say　，　'The
fool，　to　die　of　a　fever！　why　did　he　not　wait　till　his　strength　was　restored，
till　his　blood　became　calm？　all　would　then　have　gone　well，　and　he　would
have　been　alive　now。'〃

　　Albert，　who　could　not　see　the　justice　of　the　parison，　offered
some　further　objections　，　and，　amongst　others　，　urged　that　I　had　taken
the　case　of　a　mere　ignorant　girl。　But　how　any　man　of　sense，　of　more　enlarged
views　and　experience，　could　be　excused　，　he　was　unable　to　prehend。
〃My　friend！〃　I　exclaimed　，　〃man　is　but　man；　and，　whatever　be　the　extent
of　his　reasoning　powers　，　they　are　of　little　avail　when　passion　rages
within，　and　he　feels　himself　confined　by　the　narrow　limits　of　nature。
It　were　better，　then　——　but　we　will　talk　of　this　some　other　time　，
〃　I　said，　and　caught　up　my　hat。　Alas　！　my　heart　was　full；　and　we　parted
without　conviction　on　either　side。　How　rarely　in　this　world　do　men　understand
each　other！

　　AUGUST　15。　There　can　be　no　doubt　that　in　this　world　nothing　is　so
indispensable　as　love。　I　observe　that　Charlotte　could　not　lose　me　without
a　pang，　and　the　very　children　have　but　one　wish；　that　is，　that　I　should
visit　them　again　to…morrow。　I　went　this　afternoon　to　tune　Charlotte's
piano。　But　I　could　not　do　it，　for　the　little　ones　insisted　on　my　telling
them　a　story；　and　Charlotte　herself　urged　me　to　satisfy　them。　I　waited
upon　them　at　tea，　and　they　are　now　as　fully　contented　with　me　as　with
Charlotte　；　and　I　told　them　my　very　best　tale　of　the　princess　who　was
waited　upon　by　dwarfs。　I　improve　myself　by　this　exercise，　and　am　quite
surprised　at　the　impression　my　stories　create。　If　I　sometimes　invent　an
incident　which　I　forget　upon　the　next　narration　，　they　remind　one　directly
that　the　story　was　different　before　；　so　that　I　now　endeavour　to　relate
with　exactness　the　same　anecdote　in　the　same　monotonous　tone，　which　never
changes。　I　find　by　this　，　how　much　an　author　injures　his　works　by　altering
them，　even　though　they　be　improved　in　a　poetical　point　of　view。　The　first
impression　is　readily　received。　We　are　so　constituted　that　we　believe
the　most　incredible　things；　and，　once　they　are　engraved　upon　the　memory，
woe　to　him　who　would　endeavour　to　efface　them。

　　AUGUST　18。　Must　it　ever　be　thus　，——　that　the　source　of　our　happiness
must　also　be　the　fountain　of　our　misery　？　The　full　and　ardent　sentiment
which　animated　my　heart　with　the　love　of　nature　，　overwhelming　me　with
a　torrent　of　delight，　and　which　brought　all　paradise　before　me　，　has
now　bee　an　insupportable　torment　，　a　demon　which　perpetually　pursues
and　harasses　me。　When　in　bygone　days　I　gazed　from　these　rocks　upon　yonder
mountains　across　the　river，　and　upon　the　green　，　flowery　valley　before
me，　and　saw　alI　nature　budding　and　bursting　around　；　the　hills　clothed
from　foot　to　peak　with　tall　，　thick　forest　trees　；　the　valleys　in　all
their　varied　windings　，　shaded　with　the　loveliest　woods；　and　the　soft
river　gliding　along　amongst　the　lisping　reeds　，　mirroring　the　beautiful
clouds　which　the　soft　evening　breeze　wafted　across　the　sky，——　when
I　heard　the　groves　about　me　melodious　with　the　music　of　birds　，　and　saw
the　million　swarms　of　insects　dancing　in　the　last　golden　beams　of　the
sun　，　whose　setting　rays　awoke　the　humming　beetles　from　their　grassy
beds，　whilst　the　subdued　tumult　around　directed　my　attention　to　the　ground，
and　I　there　observed　the　arid　rock　pelled　to　yield　nutriment　to　the
dry　moss，　whilst　the　heath　flourished　upon　the　barren　sands　below　me　，
all　this　displayed　to　me　the　inner　warmth　which　animates　all　nature　，
and　filled　and　glowed　within　my　heart。　I　felt　myself　exalted　by　this　overflowing
fulness　to　the　perception　of　the　Godhead，　and　the　glorious　forms　of　an
infinite　universe　became　visible　to　my　soul　！　Stupendous　mountains　enpassed
me，　abysses　yawned　at　my　feet，　and　cataracts　fell　headlong　down　before
me；　impetuous　rivers　rolled　through　the　plain，　and　rocks　and　mountains
resounded　from　afar。　In　the　depths　of　the　earth　I　saw　innumerable　powers
in　motion　，　and　multiplying　to　infinity；　whilst　upon　its　surface，　and
beneath　the　heavens　，　there　teemed　ten　thousand　varieties　of　living　creatures。
Everything　around　is　alive　with　an　infinite　number　of　forms　；　while　mankind
fly　for　security　to　their　petty　houses，　from　the　shelter　of　which　they
rule　in　their　imaginations　over　the　wide…extended　universe。　Poor　fool　！
in　whose　petty　estimation　all　things　are　little。　From　the　inaccessible
mountains　，　across　the　desert　which　no　mortal　foot　has　trod，　far　as
the　confines　of　the　unknown　ocean　，　breathes　the　spirit　of　the　eternal
Creator　；　and　every　atom　to　which　he　has　given　existence　finds　favour
in　his　sight。　Ah，　how　often　at　that　time　has　the　flight　of　a　bird，　soaring
above　my　head　，　inspired　me　with　the　desire　of　being　transported　to　the
shores　of　the　immeasurable　waters　，　there　to　quaff　the　pleasures　of　life
from　the　foaming　goblet　of　the　Infinite　，　and　to　partake　，　if　but　for
a　moment　even　，　with　the　confined　powers　of　my　soul，　the　beatitude　of
that　Creator　who　acplishes　all　things　in　himself　，　and　through　himself！

　　My　dear　friend，　the　bare　recollection　of　those　hours　still　consoles
me。　Even　this　effort　to　recall　those　ineffable　sensations　，　and　give
them　utterance，　exalts　my　soul　above　itself，　and　makes　me　doubly　feel
the　intensity　of　my　present　anguish。

　　It　is　as　if　a　curtain　had　been　drawn　from　before　my　eyes，　and，　instead
of　prospects　of　eternal　life，　the　abyss　of　an　ever　open　grave　yawned
before　me。　Can　we　say　of　anything　that　it　exists　when　all　passes　away　，
when　time　，　with　the　speed　of　a　storm，　carries　all　things　onward，—
—　and　our　transitory　existence　，　hurried　along　by　the　torrent　，　is
either　swallowed　up　by　the　waves　or　dashed　against　the　rocks？　There　is
not　a　moment　but　preys　upon　you　，——　and　upon　all　around　you，　not　a
moment　in　which　you　do　not　yourself　bee　a　destroyer。　The　most　innocent
walk　deprives　of　life　thousands　of　poor　insects　：　one　step　destroys　the
fabric　of　the　industrious　ant　，　and　converts　a　little　world　into　chaos。
No：　it　is　not　the　great　and　rare　calamities　of　the　world　，　the　floods
which　sweep　away　whole　villages　，　the　earthquakes　which